I know I talk a lot about my little Lou, but this week’s posts are all about Delilah.
I have always felt a connection to the bible verse located in the book of Mathew Chapter 6:33 which says, “33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” In this post I want to discuss the verse that comes after, 6:34, “34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” Now, I am sure you asking what in the world has gotten into this chick…
Stay with me because this is going to go fast.
Time is fleeting. This picture is Delilah’s first day of Kindergarten. I can remember that day like it was yesterday.
As you know, Delilah received her driver’s license. What I failed to tell you was how I took the news. I am having a hard time with the fact that I knew the time was coming for Delilah to go off into the world. I was ready to go to court with her and listen to the Judge. Which by the way scared the living poo out of me. I do not know if it scared the rest of the parents but, I sat there listening to the statistics, the judge was mouthing out thinking holy guacamole that is a lot of texting and driving accidents! Thank goodness I did not have a phone to deal with when I was 16, because I am sure that would have given my parent’s more headaches. Not to mention I got into three accidents in one week. Seriously, I was not the best driver earlier in my driving career. What I also failed to tell you, minus I was a craptastic driver, is that I am a worrier. l like to have plans A, B and C for when something happens. Maybe it is because I have been there done that as they say, or maybe it because as a parent I want to protect my girls from all harm. I have not heard a parent yet who wants harm to come to their child. Then on the flip side of the coin how will Delilah learn valuable lessons if I do not let her fail. Ugh, the struggle of parenthood is real. My husband will tell you, I am not a worrier as much as I am a control freak. Needless to say, when your child drives off into the sunset (without you sitting next to them) you really have no control over their driving skills or other drivers for that matter. You have to rely and pray that God will take care of them and keep them safe.
Here is the part you will start laughing about or find sadly pathetic: when Delilah first got her driver’s license, I actually thought she was going to continue letting us drive her around from place to place with a few occasional outings on her own. Seriously I thought this. I just could not wrap my head around her gaining this new-found independence. Quite frankly I am having a hard time just wrapping my head around her growing up. All of these life lessons up to this point I want to take back. I want her to feel as if she still needs me as much as I need her. I know she still needs her Mom but it is just a different kind of parenting than when she was in Kindergarten.
I recently watched the movie Father of the Bride, there is a part in the movie when the daughter (played by Kimberly Williams) tells her father (played by Steve Martin) that she going to get married. The funny part is how the father took the news. Steve Martin (the father) took the news as if his little three-year old daughter (Kimberly Williams) was telling him. I found the movie hilarious until it has all started happening to me. No, Delilah is not getting married, but she is growing up and gaining more independence that I am just not mentally prepared for. I want to hold on to her as long as possible. The part that Delilah is getting older and I can not control time is a reality that is not setting well with me.
Now you ask how are the bible verses I mentioned the in the beginning relevant to this post. When I am in need of a pick me up I go to my bible. I always have and always will, it was a part of my upbringing. My favorite verse is (Mathew 6:33) but in my case currently (Mathew 6:34) seems so relevant. While reading my bible did not immediately end all of my worries (like a magic trick) it does help me focus on the right here and now. I do not worry today on tomorrow’s problems. I try to remember to enjoy each day, in that moment, that I have with my family. I can not control Delilah, when she is not in my sight, I have to rely on the fact we have raised her as an independent thinker; who will hopefully follow all the rules of the road. We have raised an amazing young woman who we are so very proud to be going out into the world and driving. I will keep reading my bible and relying on God as I am sure this will not be the last moment I worry about Delilah.
One of the few times I am smiling while riding with her. Normally I am white knuckled and pressing on my imaginary break on the passenger side.
That is it for today. Delilah will have her post about her 3 week trip to Colorado on Thursday so make sure to come back and visit us.